drabble day 5: cookie dough

dear cookie dough,

as a child i was told you are dangerous for me to eat. something about raw eggs could kill me, i guess. i trusted my mom.

as a teenager, you were my flirtation with mortality. a way of walking on the edge. a rebellion.

as an adult, i learned that my mom was eating you when i wasn't aware.

and now, a little later in life, i realize you're not going to kill me in an instant, but you could still be my down fall in the end.

cookie dough, this needs to stop.

with love,
women.

drabble day 4: missed

a day goes missed. spiralled. deep into an abyss. a blackness. a fear. filled with nothing but worry and doubt. the mistakes you've made, reaching out from the sides of every minute.

until you jump in. you leap. you dive.

you jump in because The Rock would. face down your fear. and find not a nightmare, but a dream. the unattainable. the desire.

your wants mingle with your self doubt. they dance. just out of reach. arms too short.

The Rock must be a Buddhist. he must not want anything.

who would jump into everything you can't have? The Rock?

Small luxury

When each hair follicle prickles in the cold and rubs up painful against the inside of your pant leg, that is not enjoyable. When you shiver so much from the chill settled deep within you that you strain a muscle, it is not pleasant. When you look forward to doing dishes or enduring a workout simply for the warmth it creates, that is only temporary relief.

But when spring has finally sprung and the warmth pervades the atmosphere, you realize again it is a small luxury to step out of a warm shower into a warm room. Winter is ended.

Nice For What

After Drake

They chose not to write your name in the history books

Called the streets after Johns and Roberts

They can deny, but they can't change

That you reinforce the concrete, 

You be the bones of these buildings 

You the mother of this city, raising it

A crane taller than a skyscraper

You quiet your footsteps? Keep anger out of your voice? 

A woman who isn't angry?

Don't make me laugh

Boy, you walk in these heels,

Silent while others speak, and tell me you won't resent a single thing 

O, a nursery rhyme told you our disposition?

Honey, you trippin' 

On Small Talking About Weather

“It feels pretty tropical out there today, huh?” I nod and move around her at the Cumberland Farms coffee counter, trying to find something to sweeten my sorta-weak-but-free iced coffee.

She’s right though. Sunshine, warmth, sudden rain — not drizzly, cold spring rain, but huge, plopping drops. Rain that may become storms, leaving the air smelling like summer.

It’s still hard to resist joking about humid air I can breathe, to wear my Southern identity with the same pride my neighbors carry when they talk about winter. But I don’t. I’m too busy secretly wishing for a thunderstorm.

Everything is dangerous if you consider it deeply enough

There is an intrinsic trust when it comes to food. I, having slaved in the heat of the kitchen, place in front of you a plate of something that I hope will be deliciously satisfying. You, having waited patiently, pick up your fork and knife, inhaling the aroma wafting in front of your face. I watch you place the food in your mouth, watch your face, looking for some sign of enjoyment, trusting you will be kind with me.

But the real trust comes when I leave, hoping that I didn’t just accidentally poison you. You, trusting that I didn’t.

drabble day 3: swan dilemma

dilemmas don't hatch themselves. no. someone has to sit on something to make it happen. a secret. a regret. hide a lazy move. tell a lie.

swans don't makes nests in swamps. they chose picturesque lakes in the center of ivy league universities. coves on the edge of the sea drapped in weeping willows. monet paintings.

a pearl is a dilemma to an oyster. pain wrapped in saliva and agitation. changes the flavor.

dilemmas can be quirky or devistating. they can take the shape of a cake. a wreck. something straight out of the fairy godmothers' cottage kitchen.

swans bite.

Finesse

After Bruno Mars and Cardi B

I never had it going on

(too awkward and ugly)

And it didn't feel good to be me

(depression/self-loathing)

And still I miss it

The sparkle jeans I never owned

The butterfly hair clips I still own

For a hairstyle I couldn't create

It's passed me by

I could dig out my tattoo choker

But I'll look like I've never been 17

And am jealous of those who are

And I miss Alternative Rock

(I miss Alternative Rock)

I remember running on a treadmill with a discman

And that now I've been alive longer without you than with you

drabble day 2: mars rocks

do you think we, humans, together, would have mastered safe and efficient interplanetary travel by now if one of our neighboring planets had something on it that we wanted? they way india has tea and spices, or the way central america had gold?

if mars rocks somehow cured cancer, or racoons as we know them were from mercury, do you think we would have set up camp in the 70's?

and if we had safe and efficient interplanetary travel, do you think more people would visit the moon and try to find their home town on the planet spinning below?

New Rules

After Dua Lipa

I can see how much this is hurting you. We’ve blurred the lines between pleasure and self destruction.
How long will you keep doing the same thing, expecting a different result?

Someone has figured you out too well. Don’t be afraid to change the rules of their game.
Don’t feel like you have to finish a turn before walking away.

Do you believe you have to make these decisions alone?

I know you neither want nor need my advice. But darling, you know I have to tell you.
I see flames rising around you. Drop what you’re holding and run.

This year will be different

Every summer, I promise myself that this will be the year. This time will not be like the other times. These months will be different. I will look back on my previous summer self in loving disdain and shake my head with appreciative wisdom. I will not have the same problem as I did last year. So many days, weeks, months have passed. I am an older wiser person now. This year is the one where I plan and manage and arrange and think ahead.

This is the year I will not start off with farmer tan lines. I hope.

Words are funny things, you know

Words are funny things, you know. 

I fight against empty white pages and a blinking black cursor as they taunt me, telling me that the words I have aren’t enough, aren’t sufficient, aren’t good. Blank spaces and lonely pages, waiting for my words to tell a story, to paint a picture full of colors with just the black and white dancing in front of my eyes, to bring something where there was nothing. 

I battle the emptiness with words, the silence with sound, the fear with hope. All this power in simple strokes.  

Because words are funny things, you know?

Havana

Havana

After Camila Cabello

What, you never listened to “Copacabana?” The first rule of exotic locations is, “Don't fall in love.” You may wish to be followed back by a daydream, haunted. But the truth is, you will become a ghost in a memory. Mornings riding horseback on the beach, nights salsa dancing under colored lights, they won’t make you interesting. Just frustrated with your dead-end job and boring Tinder dates. You can live for the next trip, but you can’t plan the next romance. And if you could, it wouldn’t give you significance.

I could have told you, if you had asked me.

drabble day 1: how to start again

how do i count the words in onenote? it's been a few years and it seems silly to open a laptop, to turn it on (when I'm not at work) to draft a drabble in word, to see the word count at the bottom of the screen. there must be a way.

"hey google, are there any websites or apps that count words of text?"

"here is a wbsite that count words. I'm sending the link to your phone."

"hey google... thanks."

"i'm just doing my job!"

the word counter tool says ninety two. I'm out of practice i guess.

The hiatus is over

Hey folks. After three years, it's high time I brought this back and started writing again. Hiatus over. DrabDayMoMay begins May 1. The rules have not changed. One drabble of exactly one hundred words in length every day for each of May's 31 days. I'll provide a title on Thursday for Saturday's drabble but the rest of the days are up to you. You're welcome and invited to post your drabbles on the blog. Let me know if you need access to post. Get your fingers ready. There are so many stories out there!