Fear

Stop. 

Inhale and exhale, shallow and uneven. 

Eyes flick about, every shadow catching. 

Sweat beads from every pore. Fear. 

Heart pumping crazily, adrenaline surging through but paralyzing. 

Fingers clutch at the textured bed sheets, suddenly every thread is perfectly clear to the touch. 

Things creak where they shouldn’t. A board shifts and pops under weight that is wrong.  

Rustle across the room and a shadow shifts. 

“I’m alone. I’m alone.” Repeated whisper. “It’s just the house. It’s just it settling, just the heat.” Words to calm the nerves. 

A noise of friction across a floor. 

Breath catches.

I’m not alone. 

5.30.12 Shadow's Defeat

It starts as a whisper.  High above the horizon.

Light like a candle, small and harmless.  I like it.

Then it grows.  Reaching into crevices and corners.  Reaching across my forest.

Reaching into my soul.

Every defect, every self inflicted scar showed red and vivid before the light.

I pull away, tears burning my face.

                Leave me leave me leave me! Take your light away!!

It grows brighter.  Now I see for all my efforts, this is what I could not do.

It’s dangerous.  Terrifying.

It lights the world from ground to sky. And tears the scars from my soul.

5.29.12 Shadow's Victory

I hold my dreams up to the sky, begging the stars to take them.  To light the world again.

                Fill this blackness with my light!   Chase the shadows with my might!

But there’s no answer to my cry.  The stars have gone.  My darkness chased them away.

I believed the lie, I killed the song inside my heart for a place to hide my dirty soul.

My heart is broken, its blood has stained my chest.

I force my way through the dark. Blind.

I close my teary eyes.  Weep.

I try to remember. Can’t

Was there ever any light?

5.28.12 Shadow's Beginning

There’s a shadow reaching to the sky.  Dark and grey and undefined, cast by nothing.  It’s conjured up by the blood of those hiding from the scream of their shame.

Up it rises.  To cover the sun.  Make day as dark as night.

Always night but no more stars.  Terror ruins every dream.  Chains like vines grow here.  This is the perfect place to hide a blackened soul.

                Pour your blood into the pot.  Make the shadow thicker.
                Give your soul its gloomy shelter.

I cower in darkness, hands bleeding.

Tied to the ground, weeping.

Where is my promised rest?

5.24.2012 Intruder

The little girl screamed as everything went dark, and utterly silent but for her breath. 

“Grant?” she quavered. 

“It’s just a power outage, calm down, the guys will fix it at some point,” she heard his calm voice from the living room where he casually flipped through his ipod. 

She crept through the darkened halls, the late dusk like barely filtering through the windows.

She curled up beside him. He made a grunt of protest but only shifted his position so she could lean comfortably. 

“Hello?”

They started and stared at each other. 

“Mom’s not coming home for hours…” 

“Hello.” 

(My drabble for yesterday May 7th) It's Not Contagious

“No, I’m not paranoid, I just sleep with a knife!” 

“…Exactly.”

“Oh.” 

“Take a look just at your room, I’m sure you can get the sense of some fear, some paranoia.” 

“Don’t say that, I don’t want to catch it.”

“It’s not contagious.” 

“It runs in the genes doesn’t it? If you tell me that, then my mind will change. It will become reality!”

“What you just said is signs of paranoia.” 

“Crap.” 

“Let’s take a look at your bedroom. Your bed—”

“Facing the door…” 

“Your back to the wall?” 

“Yes.” 

“Sleeping facing windows and the only other door?” 

“Yes…….” 

(Since I have no internet at my new house, I am going to be having to post drabbles probably in sets of two's or when ever it is when I have internet.. :) ) 

Tomorrow's Shadow

I’m afraid of ghosts.  Not ghosts from my past.  No.  Ghosts from my future.  The specter of things that may or may not be.  The wisping shadows that call to me from down the road.  The shimmering mists who hold out their arms, inviting me to join them, to partake of their story and splendor.

I used to cherish these ideas, the happy plans of my many tomorrows, full of cheerful sunshine.  Now, they frighten me.  The darkness has set in and the moon illuminates them for what they really are.  The future ghosts.  They are calling me. 

I’m terrified. 

5.26.11 Merchants of Mercy

They called themselves merchants of mercy. They traveled the world with their instruments of deliverance. They promised peace and escape from the pain that so often accompanied the final moments of life.

They gave no choice to those they came to save. Once the life expectancy date was labeled on a dying man’s file, they were there, knocking at the door to relieve him of his final days of misery (or happiness). And there was no denying them.

They came with their needles. And they left in sudden silence.

They call it mercy. But murder is a far better word.

5.21.11. Hiding

"Where are they?"

They meaning us, the Jewish people that were scattered throughout Germany, huddled in cramped spaces, hiding from these men, the soldiers.

The sound of the men yelling makes my blood run cold, and I lay there helpless, paralyzed with fear.

The soldiers were out to get us, me.

I could here them, rudely pounding the butt's of the guns against the walls, trying to determine if there was any other life in this house.

Then the door opens and light pours in.

and my heart stops at the sight of them. The soldiers had found us.