Sunbreak

It is the best job and the worst job in the world. Every day, I bring the daylight. I am the hope each morning. I defeat the darkness.

But only in a way.

I also illuminate the darkness. I expose death, destruction, sorrow, pain. And there is no victory in this. They call it a sunbreak when I shine through the clouds with light shafts that look like divinity. In reality, I am hiding from the sorrow of this broken planet, seeking to shade my eyes as my own heart breaks.

I don’t know how much longer I can endure.

5.27.12 Variable

You think because you failed suddenly I don’t love you?

You think because you held another closer now I’ve turned away?

You’ve said those terrible words.  I heard you.

You’ve thought those blackened thoughts.  I saw them.

You shoved a hurting man away.  I felt it.

And now you cower in the darkness.  You think that’s where you belong.

NO.        I’M STILL HERE.

The only thing that can ever change is the circumstance, love. 

I want you just the same.

I care just the same.

I love you just the same, child.

There’s never going to be a variable there.

5.23.12 Betrayal and Red

Rain stained red.  Clouds dark as blood.

We look for the promise of creation.  We asked for a new beginning.

This is the gift you give?

Tears stained red.  Ground dark as blood.

We weep for we know our sin.  This land shall be our grave.

Is this the retribution?

Sand stained red.  Ocean dark as blood.

Escape is not an option.  The roads to the sea are gone.

This is our destruction?

Hope blemished red. Dreams black as blood.

Scars mark our hearts. Our land falls to ruin.

                This is our reward.

Morning Star, capture us to the dawn.

5.18.2012 Hope

She looked after him. 

He stoically ignored her, his eyes traveling over the figures of other women. 

Don’t you see? Her eyes begged. 

He couldn’t see.

He left her in the corner, her eyeliner running, creating smudges and lines.

How could she move on? 

He had hurt her. Her heart would bear the scars, make her untrusting. She wanted him to be ‘that one.’ The first to not disappoint her. 

No. 

She had to move on. Thinking it was the end. [How dramatic]. 

She didn’t need him, she realized. Someone much better waited. 

Clinging to hope, she was not dismayed. 

Please Don't 5.4.2012

She hesitated. What if this was all wrong? What if this was so right? She couldn’t decide. She had tried to trust before, many many times. She had tried, failed, and she had burned.  Every time, she decided to try again. Each time she decided she could, just one more time. Each time she threw caution to the wind, each time the wind whipped it back and smacked her broken heart back into her face. But, maybe, maybe this time… perhaps…

She looked at him, and in her eyes she handed him her heart. “Please don’t break it,” she whispered.