There are moments of clarity.
They're brief, but they happen.
I think I hate those most.
It's the only time I comprehend the world around me, hear my own thoughts: the only time I feel at all real.
The only time I allow myself to hope I can get better.
And just when I begin to hope, does it begin to recede. I hate that I can feel it. It's like watching water slip between my fingers. I can't hold on.
God, I just want it to stay!
They're brief, but they happen.
I think I hate those most.
It's the only time I comprehend the world around me, hear my own thoughts: the only time I feel at all real.
The only time I allow myself to hope I can get better.
And just when I begin to hope, does it begin to recede. I hate that I can feel it. It's like watching water slip between my fingers. I can't hold on.
God, I just want it to stay!
But there's noise in my head again and I can't remember why I'm angry.
and you thought this was going to be terrible....
ReplyDelete"It's like watching water slip between my fingers. I can't hold on." excellent simile, so beautiful and sad
Feeling hope recede. It's a horrible feeling. And you've described it so well.
ReplyDeletethis is really good.
ReplyDelete