It’s the words I swallow that taste like gall going down and
sit, poison heavy, in my belly, festering and painful. Those words that sit on
my tongue, right there on the tip, just waiting to pop out, to fill the air
with thoughts, emotions, feelings. Then my mind fights back. And the words
slide back over my voice box, not able to fly the coop, and they slip down and
down and down. It’s those words that cause the hurt. The ones that I wish I could
say to you.
The ones that that I’m afraid will ruin everything.
I like this a lot. I think I might find it a bit more emotionally intense if some of the imagery were harsher. Instead of "sliding" and "slipping" down, doesn't it feel more like the words are "beaten" down and "wrenched" back into your throat? Overall, the tone could be a bit more unified with the pain felt in the (excellent!) first sentence. I'm only so picky because I like it. :)
ReplyDeleteI love this, and the first line is especially brilliant. I keep reading it over and over
ReplyDelete