The Shriveled Academician

An old, red Volkswagen Beetle drove down between his eyes and stopped before his mouth, forming what would be called a nose if it weren't so voluminous. Hair seemed to grow out of his head in two symmetrical, glossy black leaves.

It's thought that he was born with wrinkles. And maybe a tie. Therefore, his age is incredibly challenging to decipher, but surely he's deceptively young. He often chuckles but never laughs. It's a hollow snickering that serves only as an attempt to satisfy an audience. He's a people-pleaser for his own benefit but consequently becomes increasingly impossible to like.