Interpreting Rejection Letters

To whomever (it’s none of our concern),

Thank you for your so-called writing submission.  We found it highly entertaining – since we spent hours mocking it.  We’re sorry it’s not a good fit for us, owing to the fact that crap is not an art form.  Which is why we sent this general rejection slip.  We didn’t even write your name at the top.

Please submit again next year, especially since we now know to throw your submission into the slush pile.

Don’t you wish getting rejected by girls was this easy?

Whatever,

The Editors (who won’t even bother to sign)