{Following Bekah's suggestion and reducing my last double drabble to a single}
They’re looking for me.
Black leather boots march in my direction, stopping every few steps to
demand obedience from the passengers.
The train jostles and shakes more than usual, trembling at the presence
of the guards.
“Show me your identification,” one of them demands. Another yanks the hood off of a passenger, who
stares at the floor. A child cries.
I know my forged card won’t hold up. But I don’t need it to. I just need time. Time to reach the next station, to find a bus
to nowhere, to disappear.
A shadow crosses me. “Identification?”
Need more time...
Excellent!! Like Bekah, I believed you could do it in 100 words. And you did! This is so so so good!!! I actually like it better in 100!!
ReplyDeleteWell done. Well done. :)
oh my goodness, yes!!! this is SO good! I also like it better in this shorter version. It is more intense and far more powerful. excellent job!
ReplyDeleteYes yes yes. Much better in 100 words. The intensity is ratcheted up to a whole new level.
ReplyDelete